When anyone thinks of addiction the automatic assumption is one who has problems with alcohol, drugs, or a combination of sorts. This is just a small element in the full spectrum of the disease & make no mistake, addiction in its entire capacity is a disease. The definition of Addiction in its simplicity is to cause to become physiologically + psychologically dependent on habit forming substances or behaviors. Both the initial initiation and maintenance of addiction is influenced by a host of biological and environmental factors. Many people are often at a loss when faced with a partners or friend’s dependency issues, let alone the will to address their own. I hope my own story of addiction will help you gain perspective on the impaired persons’ point of view and thinking. The more experiences we share with one another, the better we will all be in terms of our personal, relational, and professional lives.

For longer than I care to remember, my life was basically consumed by various forms of addiction. The most challenging part looking back was being honest with myself and addressing them. After all, there’s an age old saying “You can’t change what you do not acknowledge”. We all as human beings tend to practice addictive behaviors. Many struggles with alcohol or drugs but many other forms exist in the world today such as eating disorders, gambling, sex addiction, and social media. The difference is some of our habits have risen to detrimental life altering levels yielding devastating consequences as a result. Like most things in life, real change in direction away from your addiction takes a series of steps and one day at a time.

My Own Addictive Experience:

“You cannot change what you don’t acknowledge” will forever be ingrained in my mind. Without recognizing my behavior & troubled ways how could I begin to change anything? I was addicted to opiates, steroids and other medication which ultimately led to dramatic increases in my anger issues as well as an endless thirst for a fix. The power and strength ‘highs’ + ‘lows’ took over my body. It was as if I couldn’t help but feel I needed more & more. I was consumed by it, shutting out loved ones, and isolating myself. I had many episodes of major dehydration and rapid heart rates. I was angry, selfish, and completely out of control! Truth be told I could have easily overdosed so I am so fortunate to be alive today. The reality is I didn’t see my destruction & addictive struggles with anger & substance abuse until I woke up in a cell. That first morning I remember looking around saying to myself ‘What the Fuck have I done?!’ almost like a dense fog lifted. Needless to say it was an instantly sobering experience of clarity.

I’m blessed to have found strength in God, family, & other like minded people. Surrounding myself with an abundance of support has been vital to my sober journey. In society & prison alike, it can be a challenge finding these influences. For many years I’ve concentrated on being a part of self help programs and opportunities. Focus on the positive directions that your mind, body & soul will go and build upon it. I discovered a new found passion for fitness and wellness. For me having both an emotional & physical routine drastically improved my outlook. No doubt the journey will have its setbacks or pitfalls. I nor will anyone else be perfect in beating this disease. At times we all have moments wanting to take the easy way out. The true power in overcoming addiction lies within each of us. We have the strength to press on & move forward one step at a time. When I had those tough days, days of doubt and disbelief, I would write down my feelings or talk to someone about them.

The day my crime happened became the moment most if not all of society condemned & forgot me. This was no one’s fault but mine and mine alone. I could point the finger, make a million excuses, blame the world for what my life has become, allow addictions to consume me. But where would that have led me? What effect would that have on myself, my family & those who stick by me? Would I even be alive today to tell my story? Even under the darkest of times there’s always a glimmer of hope. Nothing is lost until we refuse to fight, even for someone like me. Why accept what society writes us off as when we know better and can be better? The path is long but if I can succeed anyone has the ability to be the lasting exception against all odds! We are in control of our destiny and it’s never a path taken alone or without support. Like so many, I want to be a beacon of hope and positive presence for others.

I am proud to say I have practiced a clean lifestyle of sobriety, free from alcohol & substance abuse for nearly 15 years! If you feel shame, despair or loss in your life on your own troubled path, PLEASE REACH OUT FOR HELP! Share your own thoughts and feelings with someone, don’t go it alone! Or allow me to help & together we can work through overcoming any issues or struggles! I look forward to sharing more about my experiences with anyone out there willing to listen and share back if they wish. Until next time, be safe out there and may God Bless you all!

“Sobriety can bring peace & tranquility to life like no other”